Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
