i think my mom watched the whole time
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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