did you get engaged???
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
