I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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