so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
