I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize