Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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