Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
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