this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You can't special order awesome
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NoShamevember. You game?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
