i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
