I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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