My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
