Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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