i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
