How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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