I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
