i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
