Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
