I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
