good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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