Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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