I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
