put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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