Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
