Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
