sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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