I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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