Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
