the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
