problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
