just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
