Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
