We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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