8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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