Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
