You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize