You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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