She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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