I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
