Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
