do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize