I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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