The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
