I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
