I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
