Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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