You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
