I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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