i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
