A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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