My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
