I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
