She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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