Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
