Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
