I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just high enough for therapy.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
