If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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