I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
