I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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