Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
