i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
