If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
