i was born a porn star she said
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize