oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
