Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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