Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
birth control should be required to get into college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
