remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
