my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
