Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
