Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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